30 Days of Thankfulness

I decided to take the 30 Days of Thankfulness challenge that I found on Facebook because I have been working for a few years on retraining my brain to think positively, instead of being such a "negative Nancy," as my grandmother would say. I've found it to be helpful to me to focus on all the blessings that I do have, instead of what I don't have. I try to find little things to be thankful for every day, but I thought it would be fun to come up with one thing every day of November. So here it is: My list of thankfulness.

Day #1: I am thankful for my wonderful husband, who works so hard to take care of our family every day (& is also the greatest partner & father EVER) Thank you, my Meat Man, for always loving & supporting me, & for being such a great man. ♥

Day #2: I am thankful that God has given me such reserves of hidden strength that have helped me through the many trials & painful times in my life, & has blessed me with the knowledge that while my life may not have turned out exactly how I planned it, it is all a part of a bigger plan. Thank you, God, for giving me dark times that I may appreciate the light of happiness. Thank you for letting me experience loss & anger towards you that I may appreciate the many gifts that you've blessed my life with & your love for me. Thank you for never abandoning me, even when I thought you did. Thank you for carrying me through always & forgiving me for my mistakes.

Day #3: I am thankful for all my wonderful family, both the ones I was born with & the ones I married into. They're always there for us no matter what & I love ya'll, every one of you.

Day #4: I am thankful for my good health. This is one of those things that you tend to take forgranted until it's gone, but I am very thankful for it.

Day #5: I am thankful that my sis-in-law, Apryl, fought & beat breast cancer. We love you, sis. 

Day #6: I am thankful to be blessed with such an intelligent, (mostly) sweet, & all around awesome little boy. Mommy loves you more than you could ever know. (Even if you are a little tyrant sometimes!) Thank you for lighting up our lives :)

Day #7: I am thankful for all the fabulous, crazy women I am blessed to call my friends. Without you, ladies, life would be unbearable! Thank ya'll for always being there for me. I love you, whether we're right around the corner from each other or half a world apart, & I can't wait until the next time we get to raise hell together.

Day #8: I am so very thankful for both of my mamas. Mom, I couldn't have been born to a better mother. And Tonya, I couldn't have married into a better mother-in-love if I tried. Thank you both for always being my ears to bend, my shoulders to cry on, my helping hands when I fall, my encouraging words to brighten my day, and my jokesters to laugh with. I love you both so very much & value our friendship more than you will ever know. 

Day #9: I am thankful for my crazy dogs, who can always brighten my day with a cuddle or a kiss. They're both so great with my kiddo, for which I am very grateful. Plus, they're adding years to my life (or so the statistics say). Plus, what could possibly make you feel more loved than whenever you leave to the store for 15 mins & you come back to 3 dogs acting like you've been gone for an eternity? Awesome sauce.

Day #10: I am thankful for the basic necessities that get us through the day, which a great number of people in this world do not have. Such as: a roof over my head, hot running water, air conditioning & heat, a refrigerator & freezer, a pantry full of food, clothes & shoes to wear, a washer & dryer, a car, a TV & computer to entertain me (which is actually a luxury, not such a necessity). Let us never forget that our circumstances, no matter how bad they are, could always be worse.

Day #11: I am thankful for all the servicemen/women & veterans who have served our country's armed forces & some of whom made the ultimate sacrifice by dying to protect our freedom. To all of you out there who have put on a uniform & taken up arms, thank you & your families so very much for all that you do & the sacrifices you make to defend our freedom here at home. I have been fortunate enough to know some of these true heroes: my papa Earl, who served in the Army, Coast Guard, & Marines; my great-uncle Eddie, who served in the Marines; my uncle Billy, who also served in the Marines; my mother-in-law Tonya, who served in the Army; my cousin Shane, who served in the Air Force; my cousin-in-law Timothy, who serves in the Marines; my friend Christine, who serves in the Army; my friend Valerie, who serves in the Air Force; my friend Leo, who serves with the TX National Guard; my old friend Kenny, who serves in the Army; and yes, even my ex, Matt, who served in the Army. Happy Veterans' Day & let's never forget that freedom is never free.

Day #12: I am thankful for the peace & quiet here in this small town we live in. There is never any traffic to hear, or smog to smell, or noisy neighbors to hate. You can hear the wind & the birds & the animals. You can smell the rain & the grass. You can see so many stars at night, it's just unreal. I may have grown up a city girl, but I am most definitely a country girl at heart. ♥

Day #13: I am thankful for my sisters, (blood, in-laws, & soul) who I can always call up just because & either vent to or just talk with for hours about anything. Love you, ladies. Thanks for always being there for me.

Day #14: I am thankful for music. I love music, every different genre. I love that a song can take you back or cheer you up or make you cry. My life wouldn't be so full without the soundtrack of my life.

Day #15: I am thankful that time makes all things easier to bear.

Day #16: I am thankful that this autumn has been so incredibly lovely & mild. Yesterday, I was wearing shorts & a tank top. Practically unheard of, even here in Southern OK. I ♥ autumn.

Day #17: I am thankful that our maintenance guy FINALLY come & put the heaters in the house. It's a bit chilly out & froze last night, but thank goodness it's finally warm & toasty in here.

Day #18: I am thankful for my sense of humor. It works better for me to laugh at myself, life, & everybody else than to cry about it all the time. ;-)

Day #19: I am thankful that my son occasionally sleeps in his own room all night. That's progress & I'll take what I can get!

Day #20: I am thankful for having 30 of our wonderful family together up here for an early Thanksgiving celebration. It was fun, food, football, & fishing. I'm glad that we decided to do a celebration here this year.

Day #21: I am thankful for getting another week-long visit with my fabulous sister. Sister time = awesome time!

Day #22: I am thankful for having yummy leftover Thanksgiving food to eat. I ♥ leftover turkey & ham & everything else (especially pecan pie!)

Day #23: I am thankful to be an American. God bless you, USA. Even if our politicians are idiots, I think the thing that makes this country great (besides its freedoms) is its common citizens, We the People!

Day #24: I am thankful for getting to spend a(nother) wonderful Thanksgiving with friends & family. Happy Turkey Day to all. Try not to go into a turkey & pie coma ;-)

Day #25: I am thankful for my aunt-in-law Tina's miraculous recovery. It is still a long road to being 100% for her, from what I hear, but we are all so thankful that she is off all the machines & walking & eating on her own. God is great.

Day #26: I am thankful that our friends here bought us a new Christmas tree after one of our puppies ate the other one. They adopted the Little Tyrant as their great-nephew & said he just can't go without a tree to decorate, LOL. Stupid dog's lucky it wasn't plugged in, but I'm sure all that glass & wire doesn't feel great in his stomach :-/

Day #27: I am thankful that I got to have my awesome little cousin up for a sleepover. It's great getting to spend time with her & getting to know her, woman to woman. Aww, I remember the day her & her sister were born & now they're just about all grown up. (*tear*I feel old!)

Day #28: I am thankful that we got the lights up yesterday! It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas outside & it's nice to have the decorations up to bring in the holiday spirit. I am listening to some Christmas music & drinking my hot coffee, imagining that it's hot cocoa. (Yes, I'm a dork, LOL) Thank you, my Meat Man, for always decorating so awesomely. It's perfect, babe.

Day #29: I am thankful that we got to go visit my mom for an early birthday get together & that I got to have a lovely phone chat with my bestest bestie, Rachel, whose birthday is today. I ♥ you both very, very much!

Day #30: I am thankful for a wonderful opportunity that presented itself to us. It's still too early to go announcing what exactly on FB, but I will say that if it all pans out, it is something we have been dreaming of & has been a part of our long-term plans for a while now. (No, not another kid!) But this potential opportunity has reminded me that it never hurts to dream. :-)

Life Definitely Has a Sense of Humor

The last 3 days have been interesting, to say the least. After my last post about wanting to lock my son in his room just to get some alone time, it seems that someone up there is listening to my bitching & gave me several alone moments. Thank you, God or Mother Nature or whoever it is listening to my whining. Yes, I'd like some cheese with that. (And could you maybe send me some real wine to go with it? Mmmkay, thanks.)

This is Life laughing her ass off at me

My last few days have consisted of this:

2/3 mornings The Little Tyrant has taken such massive morning poos that it overflows out the back & the leg of the diaper. Which equals me & a giggling 2-year-old, 3 tons of baby wipes, much gagging & almost puking, & finally a bath. Plus all the extra laundry & that lingering poo smell everywhere. Joy.

3/3 mornings The Little Tyrant has spent screeching at me, demanding more food. NOW!!! I seriously think he must have hollow legs b/c I just don't understand how he can eat 3 bowls of oatmeal, 2 peanut butter sandwiches, a yogurt, & some crackers within 2 hours, but still be starving to death as he wants me to believe.

The Little Tyrant also had his first trip to the dentist. (Yes, I do realize he should have been before now, but the stupid pediatric dentist only has a sign-up once every 6 months for us poor folks on Medicaid & they fill up unbelievably fast. Like, by the time you get past the busy signal 15 mins after they open, they answer & tell you the spots are all full, sorry, call back in 6 months) Surprisingly, he was awesome for them while they counted his teeth & cleaned them. He didn't even try to bite them, like he does me when I try to help him brush his teeth.

I hate how he is an almost perfect angel for everyone except us. Seriously, if my mother & my mother-in-law didn't spend hours on the phone with me each day, they would never believe that he can be such a little heathen. But I suppose his well-behaved alterego for everyone else at least makes it so we can drop him off for weekends once every couple months & his grandparents really enjoy having him. So I won't complain too much.

Back to the dentist visit. Let me just explain something before I go on. Me & the Meat Man really do try to help him brush his teeth. But this typically involves a huge tantrum ending with us putting him in a headlock to get it done, plus his gums bleeding b/c he won't stop thrashing his head back & forth. And so, we end up settling for the "Good Enough" toothbrushing probably 9 times out of 10. The Little Tyrant is at that age where he wants to do everything himself & heaven help us if we try to help at all. I'm sure you see where this is leading.

The Little Tyrant has 4 cavities. There is nothing to make you feel like a worse mother than the dentist & assistant telling you that your son is going to have to be referred to another dentist in a bigger city to be admitted to the hospital & put under so they can fill his cavities. *sigh*

We've got a new puppy that we adopted from the shelter & although he's been with us for about a month now, he is still just skitzy as hell. Something must have happened to him b/c every time the Meat Man comes home, Nub starts barking & growling & goes to hide underneath the desk. That's his spot. And I know the Meat Man has never done anything to Nub to make him act like this. Not only does Nub bark & growl at the Meat Man, he also flips out about falling leaves/windsocks/any noise outside. He is, however, fabulous with the Little Tyrant. Which is a big point in his favor. I keep hoping that he'll get better the longer he's with us, but I'm starting to really wonder. And even considering taking him back to the shelter b/c it hasn't worked out makes me feel like the lowest POS ever.

I went to get him b/c Shadow, our 5-year-old pup, had gotten really depressed when the Little Tyrant suddenly realized that she was the only one he could legitimately boss around. He would screech her out of his room & she would lay under the coffee table whining inconsolably. She didn't want any petting or treats or toys. She just wanted to be with her boy. It was pitiful to be quite honest.

She's a completely different dog now that she has a playmate. Right back to her old instigating self. It is Shadow's fault that I have such aggravating mornings before I even get out of bed. She's already taught Nub to do the same. She'll get up & start scratching (aka jingling her collar). Then she'll shake really loudly. Meanwhile, she'll peer over the edge of the bed to see if I've opened my eyes to glare at her yet. If none of these tactics work, she'll jump up & down off the bed a couple times before proceeding to rub herself on the bed or lean against it to scratch. Which shakes the whole bed, considering she is an 80 lb monster of a dog. Of course, all this serves to wake up the Little Tyrant who was sleeping next to me peacefully. That way I have no choice but to get up & feed them & let them out b/c once those gorgeous baby blues of the Little Tyrant's are open, there is no more rest.

We also spent yesterday helping some friends remove their window unit & board up the hole for the winter. And some other friends move out of their apartment & into our house for a few days before they take the bus back to Michigan. They've got a 3-month-old pit bull pup, Kujo, that we're trying to find a home for b/c you can't take pets on the bus. He is like a little Shadow made over, I swear. It's hysterical. I wish we could keep him, but there's no way to feed & get vet care for 3 large dogs on our income.

I spent one peaceful 30 mins at the house by myself with my iPod in, jamming out to music while cooking spaghetti & washing the dishes. And when the Little Tyrant randomly fell asleep on the couch at 3 pm (which never happens anymore), I got a blessed shower by myself. (I hate showering with the Little Tyrant b/c he doesn't want me to get in the water at all. It's his water & how dare I try to rinse my shampoo. Grr!) And when the Little Tyrant fell asleep fairly early on the second afternoon, I got to spend an fabulously orgasmic hour with the Meat Man.

This is essentially our bed

To all of you out there who've forgotten what it's like to have a 2-year-old glued to your side 24/7, that sleeps in your bed & you never have a moment to yourself, let me just tell you that it KILLS your spontaneous sex life. Hell, it kills your sex life, period. So to have an hour to spend leisurely enjoying each other is damn near as good as it gets.

So, whoever is listening to me up there, thank you for giving me 3 lovely moments kid-free to enjoy these last few days. I am really enjoying this lovely autumn weather, also. I'm halfway through my 30 days of thankfulness & am very excited about having 30 of our family members over this Sunday for an early Thanksgiving. It's always nice to remember what we are thankful for, instead of bitching about what we don't have. Because it could always be worse, people.

Why Haven't I Been Keeping Us With This?

It could have something to do with my procrastination. I am a lifelong procrastinator. It is a pet peeve of mine with myself. I wish that I wasn't. I try not to be. Really, I do. But I. just. am.

I have many excuses of why I don't keep up with my writing...

I have a 2-year-old who thinks he runs the world. And if he doesn't get his way, it's the end of the world. (I'm talking a simple "No, son" sends him into a full-on epic meltdown, complete with throwing himself down on the floor & flopping around like a catfish out of water, & sobbing, then screeching, inconsolably, sometimes for hours) When he's not busy being the little tyrant that he is, we're busy playing together. That is the one thing I do allow him to still boss me about, demanding me to come play pretend dinosaurs or read him just one more Dr. Seuss book.

I have 2 large, energetic, goofy dogs that demand the rest of my free attention. I have a husband who deserves my full attention when he gets home b/c I do love him so very much & wish that I had more energy & time to devote entirely to him.

I have a constant pile of laundry that mocks me, daring me to just try to ever catch up completely. There is never a day when there isn't at least one basket of laundry undone in my house.

This is what my house would make Martha
want to do, as she's thinking, "OMG,
where do I even begin?"

And the rest of the house...well, let's just say Martha Stewart would definitely NOT approve of my clutter & dust & unwashed baseboards if she broke in. Fortunately, I highly doubt that will ever happen. I am not & will probably never be one of those people who is constantly cleaning everything in sight & requires things to be just so. In fact, I am lost without my piles of clutter. When my husband goes on a cleaning spree & moves my piles, I have no idea where anything is anymore b/c I knew exactly where everything was before it was "neat." Luckily for me, my husband loves me & my non-cleaning-obsessed self. (Thank you, honey, for tolerating my mess)

I actually feel terribly guilty that I am not an OCD cleaner that has the house spotless & sparkly when the hubby walks in the door. I really do mean to get around to these mindnumbingly boring menial cleaning tasks at some point...but it always seems to be later. I wish I was a domestic goddess effortlessly.

I have been a captive of the Terrible Twos for the last year & a half. My son started early. I used to be impressed when he reached every milestone early...not so much these days. No, I spend half my days praying that the Terrible Twos will not run over into the Terrible Threes & Fours. Not that I'm not impressed with his intelligence or his independent little self. I am. I just wish I could see a light at the end of these tantrums.

It amazes me how quickly the last few years seem to have blurred right past me. I have been procrastinating about blogging for the last 2 years...that makes me sad. Writing used to be my only salvation to my sanity. Lately though, I tell myself, "Oh, I'll blog when everyone's asleep. Got too much to do right now." That would work out splendidly, except that the Meat Man falls asleep on the couch at about 8:30 every night. But the Little Tyrant is still all energized from his late-afternoon nap he has become prone to taking from about 5:45 to 7:45.

And so, my son demands my attention more than my personal time. Does it make me a horrible person that I would LOVE to just lock him in his room for some me time? I like to think it doesn't, that every stay-at-home mother with a tyrannical 2-year-old has these thoughts. I hope I get some credit for not giving into them. I have trouble even letting him out of my sight for a few minutes, for the simple fact that he is very sneaky & adventurous & there really is no telling what kind of fun trouble he's going to get into in just a few moments.

By the time my planned blogging time rolls around, say around 10:00 or 11:00, not only is my son still awake & "Mommymommymommy"ing me to DEATH, I am so plum wore out that I can't even think straight, let alone try to form a coherent sentence that people could read. But, I am going to try to get back in the habit of writing just a little bit every day.

Hopefully, my boring stay-at-home mom life won't bore ya'll to death.

Until next time, One Very Tired Mama

I would say that this is an accurate representation of me,
except that I really can't be bothered to put in curlers
because I'd much rather be sleeping.